Monthly Archives: August 2014

Intruders

From the Mind of Muggington

The pirate ship glided into the sound. It slid next to the sheer cliff and within minutes they were filling barrels from a sparkling waterfall.

Many eyes watched from above. They resented this intrusion.

In single file they padded over the bare rock. Not one foot touched a dry leaf or twig. They moved through the forest like ghosts. They reached their places and waited for orders. Hundreds of lean muscled men stood in silence.

The leader waited until the ship dropped its anchor and stopped for the night. His eyes calculated distances, heights and angles. He raised his bronze arms in the air and looked in all directions. He saw his men, hundreds of them, waiting patiently.

Using both hands he explained. All eyes locked on the rough callused palms and fingers. The leader gestured at the ship and then gave the command.

First the small stones rolled off the cliff. The leader watched intently to see where they landed. The pirates on the ship below didn’t notice the small plops as the pebbles entered the water. Now that he had the range he waved an arm and the larger stones began to hit the ship.

The lookout heard the noise and didn’t think much of it. He thought someone was playing the fool and tossing things about the deck.

The leader stared at the boat hundreds of feet below. He thought about all the men who would be killed. Each one probably had a wife and children. They were the children of others. There were many on the ship below.

The leader gave the order. A boulder the size of a brown bear hit the main deck. The wood splintered and the leader heard the shouts and cries. Rocks rolled off the edge of the cliff striking all parts of the ship with deadly accuracy.

Some dove overboard and tried to swim to safety. The leader’s eyes narrowed as he saw arrows thunk into their writhing backs. “It’s like hunting salmon. They do not belong in our land,” he said.

“Maybe this will be enough. Maybe they will not come back.  I did not want to do this,” the leader said to himself.

The invaders

From the Mind of Muggington, nature is awe inspiring, nature is awesome

They came from all directions. A wave of them scaled the wall. The only way to pry them off the masonry was with a savage thrust of a steel bar. On and on they climbed. We tried to cut them off at the source but again they were too much for us. They had dug in deep and short of bunker busting missiles they were there for good.

I ripped and tore them off as fast as I could. My muscles ached and yet I couldn’t stop or they would completely overrun the building. My wife tried also but in the end we both surrendered.

The implacable Hedera helix conquered new territory that day.

Lobster

From the Mind of Muggington

I wonder when it happened. There must have been an initial eater. Some brave male or female human or proto-human managed to catch the reddish orange monster we so love today. Can you imagine what it was like? Getting pinched by the claws and feeling the hard outer shell. How did they know that is was edible?

Did they eat the lobster raw? I can’t imagine that it was very good unless the first lobster eater was starving. I’ve never eaten raw lobster although sashimi can be quite good.  How did they figure out how to cook it? You certainly couldn’t fry it.  Maybe they roasted it over a fire but I don’t know how that would work out.

It took a stroke of genius to plunge a writhing lobster into boiling water. Maybe by then humans had a tradition of boiling foods such as rice and roots and stem tubers.

It must have been a great day when someone did manage to catch, cook and eat some of the sweet lobster meat inside. I doubt that they had butter but who knows.

Porches

From the Mind of Muggington

Every home should have a front porch.

As I write I am seated in a comfy wicker chair on the porch of a bed and breakfast. I don’t know why this simple setting produces so much relaxation.

Maybe it brings back fond memories of porches past. As a kid I loved porch swings. There was a sense of danger as I sat on the rickety wooden swing. I could hear the screw fasteners above squeaking and ceiling wood cracking with every move.

I guess what I like most about porches now is that they seem to be unsuitable for anything except rocking, sitting, swinging, reading , writing and talking. You certainly can’t have a productive meeting or teach a class on a porch.

It’s kind of nice when you can’t do something in a place.

 

Novae

From the Mind of Muggington, nature is awe inspiring, nature is awesome, physics, science, science fiction

They approached the white dwarf with caution. “No life forces appear to be within range,” it said. An intense beam shot down to the surface of the fiery white sphere and a tiny puff ball appeared. “Approaching ignition point,” it said. A purplish flare rose from the white dwarf and zoomed by them.  Everything occurred in silence. The writhing sheets of violet continued to spew into space.

It began to chuckle. It turned to its partner. “Let’s do another one,” it said. “I don’t know if we should,” the other said. “Come on, it doesn’t hurt anything, it’s just a little gamma radiation,” it said. “Alright, but this is the last one, okay?” the other said.

It grinned and turned them towards another juicy white dwarf.

The data driven road to happiness

From the Mind of Muggington

Everyone wants to collect data. I have an idea that might help

Let’s collect data on the number of smiles, laughs and compliments people exhibit.

Why not find out what increases these positive behaviors?

If something increases the number of smiles and positive comments then maybe we need to encourage it.

Instead of forcing people to compete, why not find ways to help people enjoy each other’s company?

Any second

fantasy, From the Mind of Muggington, Pomroy's World, science, science fiction

It could happen to any of us, any second.

Today I read about a thirty five year old man who had blood clot in his ankle. The next morning he was found dead.  It is so sad but also something all of us face.

Life is an incredibly fragile phenomenon. Life is also one of the most persistent, unusual, and mysterious forces in our Universe.

In my novel Pomroy’s World I attempted to explore this fear that hangs over all humans. A young teenager is on his skateboard and weaving his way down a street. All of us see teens like this every day. They don’t seem to have a care in the world.

At the same time, on the same street, I watch impatient drivers honk when the car in front of them slows down for a second. They race their engines and lean on their horns to show their hatred and anger at the unfair delay they are being subjected to.

It is only a matter of time and chance before the unthinkable happens.  A boy is hit by a racing vehicle and he either lives or dies. In Pomroy’s World, a third possibility is presented. The teen is in a coma and the doctors say he will never regain consciousness.

What happens next is my dream and my hope for Pomroy and everyone else like him.

pomroysworld.com

 

We needed it

fantasy, From the Mind of Muggington, nature is awe inspiring, nature is awesome, science

I woke this morning to a nice drizzle of rain. Our parched lawn needed a good soak. The only downside is that the mosquitoes are probably rubbing their limbs in glee anticipating all the great spots to drop clusters of eggs.

I can just imagine the revelry and chaos in plant cells right now. Water is rushing into root hairs and whooshing up xylem vessels. Cells are frantically trying to take in as much water as they can, their cell walls turgid to the point of bursting. Up in the leaves the palisade cells are grumbling, “Come on, get that good stuff up here,”  but they are going to have to be patient.

In order to get the water up that high, they are going to need to get some heat and a nice breeze.  Once the water molecules get jumpy enough they will hop out of the stomata and fling themselves into the air. Now, those long columns of water can start clawing their way up the insides of the zillions of tiny tubes. If all the leaves cooperate just right they can pull the water up a surprising height.

It’s those greedy little green guys that are desperate for the water. As soon as they get some water they will start tossing electrons around, breaking and making chemical bonds and churning out gooey carbohydrates that are destined to be the supposed bane of human dieters everywhere.

Back down at the roots, things are getting mushy. Earthworms are gasping for breath and squirming their way skyward. The fungal mycelia are happy. They just grow and grow and digest and absorb. It’s a great life being a decomposer.

I think I better take a closer look at the water, the main player in this morning’s drama. What this? It seems the hydrogen atoms won’t stay still. They are jumping from one water molecule to another, almost like they are doing the Lindy.  And they are throwing the electrons back and forth. Naughty polar molecules, I wish you could just sit still for a millisecond. Still, you’re all we’ve got in the liquids that make life possible category so I guess we will just have to put up with it.

We did really did need a good soaking today.

Urgent need for a quantum robot

From the Mind of Muggington

When my wife and I sit down to a home-cooked meal we usually have at least three separate dishes. For example, tonight we had salmon, kale and a mix of potatoes, onions and tomatoes.  Everything was absolutely delicious. The salmon skin was crispy and the veggies were fantastic.

The problem is one of time.  As soon as the food is served onto my plate I start to eat one of the dishes, in this case I started with the salmon. At this point my wife invariably asks, “What’s wrong with the kale? You  aren’t eating it.”  I keep eating as fast as I can. “Are the potatoes alright,” she asks.  I keep eating with the intention of sampling all three dishes as soon as I can.

“You haven’t tried the wine yet, it’s really good,” she says. I keep eating determined to finish the bites in my mouth.

This is why I am requesting that DARPA consider an urgent competition to develop a quantum robot. Husbands cannot possibly try every dish in a meal at the same time and this causes misunderstanding that could lead to a threat to world peace.

I hereby request that scientists and engineers develop a quantum robot that can perform tasks simultaneously in at least three different states (please note: this is because we normally don’t have more than three dishes for dinner).

I feel that the phenomenon of superposition is currently being underutilized for domestic purposes. A quantum robot would be a welcome addition to our family and it would definitely let me eat my dinner at a more sedate pace.

Sincererly,

Samuel Muggington