The King addressed the crowd. “Fellow Firmicutes today is the day. We have cowered in the folds and crevices too long. Today we take our rightful place. ”  Thousands of cilia waved in response. “The Bacteroidetes will rue the day they tangled with us.”

…

I yawned and turned off the alarm. After a sip of water I stood on the scale. “Damn, I gained two pounds.”