Monthly Archives: May 2015

The Predicament

I got him as a cub. He grew into a four hundred pound mass of muscle before I knew it. Now,  every time I enter a room he leaps onto me. I know he is being affectionate but it is disconcerting.

I have to do something. I decide to make a break for it. He senses something and he lunges at me. I put my shoulder against the door and manage to push it shut.

I walk down to city hall to report my problem. As soon as I enter a woman hands me a plastic wrapped blanket. I look at her in bewilderment. “I have a lion in my house,” I said. She begins to talk and I can’t understand a word.

Tables turned

I watch the farm through my binoculars. It is the crack of dawn and things should start at any moment.

I hear squeals and lines of porkers emerge. They stream towards the farmer’s house. I admit it. I did unlock the gate. I also unlocked the doors to the farmer’s house.

The pigs stop squealing and one by one they slip into the house. I hear muffled screams and thumps.

The farmer runs out of the door. He is met by a wall of pigs. He tries to step over them but they headbutt him back.

They move as a group toward the pond. I can hardly control myself. I feel like laughing out loud.

The farmer and swarm of pigs reach a tall wooden platform.

I hear the farmer pleading. “No, I’m afraid of heights. Please no.”

The pigs are relentless. I hear loud grunting and I see the pigs shoving and pushing the man up the steps.

The platform is slanted. The farmer edges out onto the platform. The squealing and grunting reaches fever pitch.

The farmer begins to scream like a child. He slides off the platform into the water.

I hear the smack of a belly flop and wince.

I bet that hurt.

The farmer swims to shore where he is greeted by a wall of pigs. They stare at him with blank expressions.

“What?” the farmer said. “I did it. Are you happy now?”

Squeals and grunts fill the air. They began to herd the farmer to the steps.

I watched as the farmer dove, over and over. It only stopped when the park opened at nine am.

Families and children stood in amazement as hordes of pigs made the farmer jump off the platform.

At the end of the day the farmer took down his diving platform.

Pigs don’t dive any more on that farm.

It’s back

I saw it when I stepped out this morning. As usual it hovered right above me.  I estimate the altitude at around one hundred meters.

The first time I saw it I thought it was a U.F.O. I’m not kidding. Imagine seeing a dark object with a shiny bottom hovering in the air. Every time I moved, it went with me.

Every month it appears. Today I have more breathing space than usual.

I’ve gotten used to it .

R.I.P.

Imagine a writer who continues to use an antiquated laptop with a keyboard that doesn’t work. He never knows if the key he hits will actually place a character on the screen. An inevitable result of this idiocy is typos galore.

Today I say goodbye to my dusty keyboard. I agonized over the parting but now it is done.

Fickle me, how I love these new springy keys that always do their job.

To my future editors and readers, you can rest easier at night knowing that my manuscripts will no longer be riddled with as many typos.

 

Rude

It happened again. Some people never learn.

I watched the woman as she loaded groceries into her car. She appears to be in good health and physically fit.

Here it comes. She looks both ways with a tight smile on her face.

She pushes the shopping cart into an empty parking space and leaves it there. Of course she doesn’t care that it is a spot for handicapped persons.

The woman hops into the car without a backward glance. I can see the smile of triumph on her face.

This is where I come in.

I lift a slim silver device and point it at her vehicle. A tight beam of electromagnetic radiation washes over the integrated circuits in the car’s electronics. The engine dies and the car coasts to the side of the road.

The woman gets out of the car and curses.

Break time is over.

I go back inside and get ready to bag some groceries.

Something happened

I couldn’t believe it.

The grey haired lady in the park had rhythm. She had a grin on her face as she moved from foot to foot. Behind her the grouchy skinny guy laughed. He lurched along the path and pumped his arms into the air.

I walked downtown to the village and encountered the same thing. At one end of the crosswalk five people waited for the light to change. My jaw dropped. It looked like a dance party. I swear that guy is dancing to a Donna Summer song.

Has everyone gone mad? I went into the drugstore. Yes, they are doing it too. The young female cashier is shimmying and the pharmacist, is well, I don’t know how to describe it.

What the hell is going on?

I walk home past writhing, jiggling and dancing people of all ages. I am bewildered.

Why am I not dancing?

How does NASA’s new EM drive work? Maybe the answer lies in Pomroy’s World?

In the following article sources claim that a new EM engine works in a vacuum even though it “violates the Law of Conservation of Momentum”.

Evaluating NASA’s Futuristic EM Drive

In my novels, Pomroy’s World: Arrival and Pomroy’s World: Alone, one of the main characters, Juan Garcia, develops a device to directly detect dark matter.

Perhaps the vacuum is not empty.

Perhaps the thrust NASA’s EM drive develops is a result of forces from the virtual particles of the Quantum vacuum interacting with dark matter and dark energy.

Perhaps Juan Garcia found something important.

Perhaps the secret of dark matter and energy lies in Pomroy’s World.