Urgent need for a quantum robot

When my wife and I sit down to a home-cooked meal we usually have at least three separate dishes. For example, tonight we had salmon, kale and a mix of potatoes, onions and tomatoes.  Everything was absolutely delicious. The salmon skin was crispy and the veggies were fantastic.

The problem is one of time.  As soon as the food is served onto my plate I start to eat one of the dishes, in this case I started with the salmon. At this point my wife invariably asks, “What’s wrong with the kale? You  aren’t eating it.”  I keep eating as fast as I can. “Are the potatoes alright,” she asks.  I keep eating with the intention of sampling all three dishes as soon as I can.

“You haven’t tried the wine yet, it’s really good,” she says. I keep eating determined to finish the bites in my mouth.

This is why I am requesting that DARPA consider an urgent competition to develop a quantum robot. Husbands cannot possibly try every dish in a meal at the same time and this causes misunderstanding that could lead to a threat to world peace.

I hereby request that scientists and engineers develop a quantum robot that can perform tasks simultaneously in at least three different states (please note: this is because we normally don’t have more than three dishes for dinner).

I feel that the phenomenon of superposition is currently being underutilized for domestic purposes. A quantum robot would be a welcome addition to our family and it would definitely let me eat my dinner at a more sedate pace.


Samuel Muggington

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