{"id":1071,"date":"2016-01-05T10:43:16","date_gmt":"2016-01-05T15:43:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/samuelmuggington.com\/wordpress\/?p=1071"},"modified":"2016-01-05T10:49:23","modified_gmt":"2016-01-05T15:49:23","slug":"gripes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/samuelmuggington.com\/wordpress\/?p=1071","title":{"rendered":"Grumpy morning"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Saturn\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I wish I had never been born. Can you imagine living in a place like this? The first person who left Earth and came here must have been crazy. Goddamn Enceladus!<\/p>\n

How would you like to live on a ball of ice? I squirmed and my rolls of fat jiggled in my spacesuit. It really pisses me off that we have to be tubs of lard to survive in this godforsaken place.<\/p>\n

I waddled along the passageway in the solar greenhouse checking the veggies. Everything looked good. I sigh and decide to get ready to return home.<\/p>\n

As I pull on my shades I realize that my facial fat folds are not covering my extremities completely. Damn, I need to up my calorie intake if I want to keep my ears from becoming popsicles. I pull on my long blades and check to make sure I don’t have any heat leaks.<\/p>\n

I push through the airlock and hop onto the ice. Soon I am weaving and jinking across the shimmering surface. I dodge craters and fissures and my heart leaps with joy.<\/p>\n

I guess this place isn’t that bad after all.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I wish I had never been born. Can you imagine living in a place like this? The first person who left Earth and came here must have been crazy. Goddamn Enceladus! How would you like to live on a ball of ice? I squirmed and my rolls of fat jiggled in my spacesuit. It really … Continue reading Grumpy morning<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1071","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-from-the-mind-of-muggington"],"yoast_head":"\nGrumpy morning - Samuel Muggington's Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/samuelmuggington.com\/wordpress\/?p=1071\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Grumpy morning - Samuel Muggington's Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I wish I had never been born. 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