{"id":961,"date":"2015-05-08T10:19:23","date_gmt":"2015-05-08T14:19:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/samuelmuggington.com\/wordpress\/?p=961"},"modified":"2015-05-08T12:46:55","modified_gmt":"2015-05-08T16:46:55","slug":"tables-turned","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/samuelmuggington.com\/wordpress\/?p=961","title":{"rendered":"Tables turned"},"content":{"rendered":"

I watch the farm<\/a> through my binoculars. It is the crack of dawn and things should start at any moment.<\/p>\n

I hear squeals and lines of porkers emerge. They stream towards the farmer’s house. I admit it. I did unlock the gate. I also unlocked the doors to the farmer’s house.<\/p>\n

The pigs stop squealing and one by one they slip into the house. I hear muffled screams and thumps.<\/p>\n

The farmer runs out of the door. He is met by a wall of pigs. He tries to step over them but they headbutt him back.<\/p>\n

They move as a group toward the pond. I can hardly control myself. I feel like laughing out loud.<\/p>\n

The farmer and swarm of pigs reach a tall wooden platform.<\/p>\n

I hear the farmer pleading. “No, I’m afraid of heights. Please no.”<\/p>\n

The pigs are relentless. I hear loud grunting and I see the pigs shoving and pushing the man up the steps.<\/p>\n

The platform is slanted. The farmer edges out onto the platform. The\u00a0squealing and grunting reaches fever pitch.<\/p>\n

The farmer begins to scream like a child. He slides off the platform into the water.<\/p>\n

I hear the smack of a belly flop and wince.<\/p>\n

I bet that hurt.<\/p>\n

The farmer swims to shore where he is greeted by a wall of pigs. They stare at him with blank expressions.<\/p>\n

“What?” the farmer said. “I did it. Are you happy now?”<\/p>\n

Squeals and grunts fill the air. They began to herd the farmer to the steps.<\/p>\n

I watched as the farmer dove, over and over. It only stopped when the park opened at nine am.<\/p>\n

Families and children stood in amazement as hordes of pigs made the farmer jump off the platform.<\/p>\n

At the end of the day the farmer took down his diving platform<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Pigs don’t dive any more on that farm<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I watch the farm through my binoculars. It is the crack of dawn and things should start at any moment. I hear squeals and lines of porkers emerge. They stream towards the farmer’s house. I admit it. I did unlock the gate. I also unlocked the doors to the farmer’s house. The pigs stop squealing … Continue reading Tables turned<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[176],"class_list":["post-961","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-from-the-mind-of-muggington","tag-diving-pigs"],"yoast_head":"\nTables turned - Samuel Muggington<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Tables turned - Samuel Muggington - No more diving pigs on this farm\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/samuelmuggington.com\/wordpress\/?p=961\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Tables turned - Samuel Muggington\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Tables turned - Samuel Muggington - No more diving pigs on this farm\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"http:\/\/samuelmuggington.com\/wordpress\/?p=961\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Samuel Muggington's Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-05-08T14:19:23+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2015-05-08T16:46:55+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"samuel\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"samuel\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/samuelmuggington.com\\\/wordpress\\\/?p=961#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/samuelmuggington.com\\\/wordpress\\\/?p=961\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"samuel\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/samuelmuggington.com\\\/wordpress\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3f68c0dba23f5cde10e478cfaf84cad7\"},\"headline\":\"Tables turned\",\"datePublished\":\"2015-05-08T14:19:23+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2015-05-08T16:46:55+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/samuelmuggington.com\\\/wordpress\\\/?p=961\"},\"wordCount\":313,\"commentCount\":0,\"keywords\":[\"diving pigs\"],\"articleSection\":[\"From the Mind of Muggington\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/samuelmuggington.com\\\/wordpress\\\/?p=961#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/samuelmuggington.com\\\/wordpress\\\/?p=961\",\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/samuelmuggington.com\\\/wordpress\\\/?p=961\",\"name\":\"Tables turned - Samuel Muggington\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/samuelmuggington.com\\\/wordpress\\\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2015-05-08T14:19:23+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2015-05-08T16:46:55+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/samuelmuggington.com\\\/wordpress\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3f68c0dba23f5cde10e478cfaf84cad7\"},\"description\":\"Tables turned - Samuel Muggington - No more diving pigs on this farm\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/samuelmuggington.com\\\/wordpress\\\/?p=961#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/samuelmuggington.com\\\/wordpress\\\/?p=961\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/samuelmuggington.com\\\/wordpress\\\/?p=961#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"http:\\\/\\\/samuelmuggington.com\\\/wordpress\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Tables turned\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/samuelmuggington.com\\\/wordpress\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/samuelmuggington.com\\\/wordpress\\\/\",\"name\":\"Samuel Muggington's Blog\",\"description\":\"Want to read more Muggington? 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