Category Archives: From the Mind of Muggington

Stomp

The audience whispered to each other as they waited. The Sun beat down hard on their backs. All sat on dirt according to custom.

The drumming started. It synchronized the heartbeats of the crowd.  They leaned forward peering into the distance. Far off a tiny dust cloud appeared. It moved in their direction. Sighs of relief and soft murmurs accompanied laughs and smiles.

Soon all could see the column of men. They wore traditional dress. Soft kudu pelts swished against muscular legs. Bright red, blue and yellow beads glittered around sinewy throats. Each man held a polished wooden knobkerry.

They arrived. The drummer began to weave intricate rhythms into the steady beat and then he hit the drum a ferocious blow. The dance started.

Legs kicked impossibly high and then returned to stamp the dusty earth. The ground shook and the people watched in awe.

What was it like

The thick sheets of ice approached the mounds of granite. Thousands of rocks churned in the ice. The cacophony would have deafened any living thing. Screeches and shrieks filled the air as long furrows and trenches were gouged in the salt and pepper surface. It was as if a gigantic cat was dragging its claws over a huge blackboard. The inexorable pull rent the bedrock of the planet.

Intruders

The pirate ship glided into the sound. It slid next to the sheer cliff and within minutes they were filling barrels from a sparkling waterfall.

Many eyes watched from above. They resented this intrusion.

In single file they padded over the bare rock. Not one foot touched a dry leaf or twig. They moved through the forest like ghosts. They reached their places and waited for orders. Hundreds of lean muscled men stood in silence.

The leader waited until the ship dropped its anchor and stopped for the night. His eyes calculated distances, heights and angles. He raised his bronze arms in the air and looked in all directions. He saw his men, hundreds of them, waiting patiently.

Using both hands he explained. All eyes locked on the rough callused palms and fingers. The leader gestured at the ship and then gave the command.

First the small stones rolled off the cliff. The leader watched intently to see where they landed. The pirates on the ship below didn’t notice the small plops as the pebbles entered the water. Now that he had the range he waved an arm and the larger stones began to hit the ship.

The lookout heard the noise and didn’t think much of it. He thought someone was playing the fool and tossing things about the deck.

The leader stared at the boat hundreds of feet below. He thought about all the men who would be killed. Each one probably had a wife and children. They were the children of others. There were many on the ship below.

The leader gave the order. A boulder the size of a brown bear hit the main deck. The wood splintered and the leader heard the shouts and cries. Rocks rolled off the edge of the cliff striking all parts of the ship with deadly accuracy.

Some dove overboard and tried to swim to safety. The leader’s eyes narrowed as he saw arrows thunk into their writhing backs. “It’s like hunting salmon. They do not belong in our land,” he said.

“Maybe this will be enough. Maybe they will not come back.  I did not want to do this,” the leader said to himself.

The invaders

They came from all directions. A wave of them scaled the wall. The only way to pry them off the masonry was with a savage thrust of a steel bar. On and on they climbed. We tried to cut them off at the source but again they were too much for us. They had dug in deep and short of bunker busting missiles they were there for good.

I ripped and tore them off as fast as I could. My muscles ached and yet I couldn’t stop or they would completely overrun the building. My wife tried also but in the end we both surrendered.

The implacable Hedera helix conquered new territory that day.

Lobster

I wonder when it happened. There must have been an initial eater. Some brave male or female human or proto-human managed to catch the reddish orange monster we so love today. Can you imagine what it was like? Getting pinched by the claws and feeling the hard outer shell. How did they know that is was edible?

Did they eat the lobster raw? I can’t imagine that it was very good unless the first lobster eater was starving. I’ve never eaten raw lobster although sashimi can be quite good.  How did they figure out how to cook it? You certainly couldn’t fry it.  Maybe they roasted it over a fire but I don’t know how that would work out.

It took a stroke of genius to plunge a writhing lobster into boiling water. Maybe by then humans had a tradition of boiling foods such as rice and roots and stem tubers.

It must have been a great day when someone did manage to catch, cook and eat some of the sweet lobster meat inside. I doubt that they had butter but who knows.

Porches

Every home should have a front porch.

As I write I am seated in a comfy wicker chair on the porch of a bed and breakfast. I don’t know why this simple setting produces so much relaxation.

Maybe it brings back fond memories of porches past. As a kid I loved porch swings. There was a sense of danger as I sat on the rickety wooden swing. I could hear the screw fasteners above squeaking and ceiling wood cracking with every move.

I guess what I like most about porches now is that they seem to be unsuitable for anything except rocking, sitting, swinging, reading , writing and talking. You certainly can’t have a productive meeting or teach a class on a porch.

It’s kind of nice when you can’t do something in a place.

 

Novae

They approached the white dwarf with caution. “No life forces appear to be within range,” it said. An intense beam shot down to the surface of the fiery white sphere and a tiny puff ball appeared. “Approaching ignition point,” it said. A purplish flare rose from the white dwarf and zoomed by them.  Everything occurred in silence. The writhing sheets of violet continued to spew into space.

It began to chuckle. It turned to its partner. “Let’s do another one,” it said. “I don’t know if we should,” the other said. “Come on, it doesn’t hurt anything, it’s just a little gamma radiation,” it said. “Alright, but this is the last one, okay?” the other said.

It grinned and turned them towards another juicy white dwarf.

The data driven road to happiness

Everyone wants to collect data. I have an idea that might help

Let’s collect data on the number of smiles, laughs and compliments people exhibit.

Why not find out what increases these positive behaviors?

If something increases the number of smiles and positive comments then maybe we need to encourage it.

Instead of forcing people to compete, why not find ways to help people enjoy each other’s company?