Pugnacious Pumpkins

I’m a pumpkin. Okay, I am fat and orange but I do have feelings. How would you like to be one of the fattest vegetables in the garden? Of course I would like to be slim like a carrot or a celery stick but I’m not. I’m spherical and proud of it.

About the orange color. I know some people get ridiculed when they spend too much time under the tanning bed. My orange is from carotene and I could care less what you think.
Anyway, now that Halloween is coming I am getting a little peeved. Who gives people the right to come pluck us out of the fields? I’m quite happy sitting here soaking up the sunlight. I’m not hassling anyone. I’m sitting here in the dirt minding my own business.
I know I’m wasting my carbon dioxide but still, if you do pick me, let me keep my dignity. The best case scenario is if you put me on your front porch and let me live out my remaining time in the fresh air. I know that’s probably not good enough and you will want to carve me up into some grotesque face. Go ahead and have your fun but just remember, us pumpkins represent the color orange and we deserve some respect. Have your Halloween and your Jack -O-Lanterns but don’t forget
Pugnacious Pumpkins make it all possible.


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